Go Ahead and Tax AIG Employees - Just As Long As You Go First

Recent accounts indicate that Congress is showing its compassionate side when it comes to taxing the bonuses paid to AIG employees. Apparently realizing that 95% was a ridiculous outrage, they generously dropped the rate to a far more compassionate 90% in recently crafted bills.

As most are by now aware, employees of AIG received millions of dollars in bonus payments under the terms of contracts in force long before Congress wanted to prove that they could screw up the private sector even better than they have managed with the government. These employees are apparently guilty of fulfilling the terms of those contracts, none of which stated that the company had be be financially sound. If Congress wanted to limit these contractually obligated payouts, something should have been said when the money was first handed over. If they want to demand that moving forward existing contracts be renegotiated and new contracts have specific limiting provisions written in, that also is fine.

What is not reasonable or acceptable is to rewrite the rules after the game is over just so Congress can declare themselves the winner. Anyone with a sixth grade education and access to a local newspaper has been aware of Wall Street bonuses and how they work for the last twenty years or more. For Representatives and Senators to go in front of the national media and claim "I had no idea . . . " can charitably be described as disingenuous. The publicly available facts clearly indicate that virtually every member of congress who has opened his or her mouth on the AIG business is either a liar, an idiot, or both.

Setting aside silly concepts like the Constitution, common sense, or even simply doing what is right, there is a scenario under which I could come to support these tax weapons - Charlie Rangel's characterization, not mine: "We had very few weapons and the only ones that we had that made sense . . . was the [tax] code," - being unleashed against the employees of AIG.

Since the crime of these people seems to be that they received contractually promised compensation in exchange for contractually defined performance while working for an institution that spent far more than it earned, effectively if not legally defrauded the United States taxpayers out of billions of dollars, and generally mismanaged their business to a degree that would be nearly impossible to imagine if it wasn't already presented as fact, Congress should first apply that standard to themselves and their own performance. Once congress passes a 95% tax rate (or 90% - I can be charitable and compassionate as well) on all compensation earned by a Congressman and a Senator, as well as all of their staff, I will gladly step aside and let them have their way with AIG.

Leadership We Can Believe In

Senator Charles Grassley from Iowa espouses the kind of true leadership we can all believe in. Speaking in a radio interview, Grassley said, "The first thing that would make me feel a little bit better towards them if they’d follow the Japanese model and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say I’m sorry, and then either do one of two things — resign, or go commit suicide."

Since the vast majority of the elected workers within the U.S. Capitol are fundamentally incapable of uttering the phrase "I'm sorry", imagine the turnover that would happen if members of Congress heeded Senator Grassley's advice to the executives of AIG.

Senator, step up and be a man. Demonstrate the sort of leadership this country is so desperate for at this point in history. Should a substantial portion of your colleagues follow you in such an example you truly would embody Leadership We Can Believe In for Change We Can Believe In.

Not Quite Getting It

Now, I don't have a PhD in anything, but I do have one or two brain cells that are on a first name basis with each other and I can certainly figure out that the cure here is somewhat less than likely to be effective.

It seems that in South Africa they have women who are lesbians. Hard to figure how they pulled that off without U.S. trained radical misandrists, but it would seem to be the case.

Be that as it may, that particular orientation, whether a matter of choice or inclination imparted by Nature (a debate for another time and place), is alive and well in South Africa. A number of South African men believe they have divined the cure to this particular affliction: rape and murder!

I'm pretty sure that murder is a relatively effective deterrent. One woman "was gang-raped and beaten before being stabbed to death 25 times in the face, chest and legs." Assuming that the previous sentence is an example of poor writing rather than deific resilience on her part, I suspect that she was either cured or at the very least never chose to offend again.

But rape? I'm guessing that very few women have an "Oh, my God! I had no idea what I was missing! GIVE ME A MAN!!" moment after receiving the treatment. I may well be wrong, but I imagine the whole thing is counter productive to the stated objective.

True Story

Though hardly a matter of pride, I have a habit of explaining their shortcomings to my fellow motorists as we share the road. Often, I emphasize my critique with a wave. I know, it's a bit rude and probably somewhat juvenile.

Many of you probably do the same. When you think no one is watching.

Today I was traveling southbound on the interstate when an impatient wayfarer felt it necessary and appropriate to dart out from behind the truck impeding his progress and fall in behind my car, transferring the responsibility of impediment to me. Already traveling at over ten miles above the posted speed I didn't feel I was moving at an unreasonably slow rate for the left lane. My new friend disagreed, and made every effort to find out if he might not manage to park his bright red import in the back seat of my Saturn. It didn't work, a fact that no doubt made his wife as grateful as me.

Passing the truck that had been blocking his progress, I generously decided to move aside and let him through. My exit was coming up soon enough, and I had to move over anyway. As Mr. Impatient Red Import went zooming on past, I "waved" him on his way. He shook his fist and waved back. I don't read lips, but I'm sure his suggestion was not something that should be uttered in front of Mother! After that, I assumed our little encounter was done for the day.

Alas, it was not to be.

Pulling up to the traffic light at the top of the exit ramp, who should I find myself behind but Mr. Impatient Red Import! And what joy, it seems he was traveling to the same place I was. Through the next two traffic lights I was right behind him, including the left into the parking lot where the Tractor Supply Company is found.

He parked. I parked. Imagine the good fortune.

Now, at this point common sense would dictate that everyone shut up and go quietly about their business. As a good American, I routinely decline to participate in common sense. I did the only thing I felt was reasonable after having flipped him off for nearly rear ending me at 70 MPH on the highway.

I apologized for my rudeness.

He thanked me, and stammered back something that might have also been an apology.

Since we were now such good friends, I went on to explain that had I known he sported an Obama/Biden bumper sticker in his rear window I never would have gestured at him in that manner.

No doubt thinking he had found a kindred spirit, and perhaps feeling magnanimous since he had already received an unexpected apology, he assured me it was fine. After all, we all have to deal with obnoxious people on the roads, and he may have been riding a bit close so he could get back over in time for the exit.

"Oh no," I explained, determined to clear up his confusion as to why I had been apologizing to him. "My mother taught me it was rude to pick on the handicapped, and with your chosen team in Washington you already have plenty of problems."

Fortunately, his wife convinced him it wasn't worth it to come after me.