True Story

Though hardly a matter of pride, I have a habit of explaining their shortcomings to my fellow motorists as we share the road. Often, I emphasize my critique with a wave. I know, it's a bit rude and probably somewhat juvenile.

Many of you probably do the same. When you think no one is watching.

Today I was traveling southbound on the interstate when an impatient wayfarer felt it necessary and appropriate to dart out from behind the truck impeding his progress and fall in behind my car, transferring the responsibility of impediment to me. Already traveling at over ten miles above the posted speed I didn't feel I was moving at an unreasonably slow rate for the left lane. My new friend disagreed, and made every effort to find out if he might not manage to park his bright red import in the back seat of my Saturn. It didn't work, a fact that no doubt made his wife as grateful as me.

Passing the truck that had been blocking his progress, I generously decided to move aside and let him through. My exit was coming up soon enough, and I had to move over anyway. As Mr. Impatient Red Import went zooming on past, I "waved" him on his way. He shook his fist and waved back. I don't read lips, but I'm sure his suggestion was not something that should be uttered in front of Mother! After that, I assumed our little encounter was done for the day.

Alas, it was not to be.

Pulling up to the traffic light at the top of the exit ramp, who should I find myself behind but Mr. Impatient Red Import! And what joy, it seems he was traveling to the same place I was. Through the next two traffic lights I was right behind him, including the left into the parking lot where the Tractor Supply Company is found.

He parked. I parked. Imagine the good fortune.

Now, at this point common sense would dictate that everyone shut up and go quietly about their business. As a good American, I routinely decline to participate in common sense. I did the only thing I felt was reasonable after having flipped him off for nearly rear ending me at 70 MPH on the highway.

I apologized for my rudeness.

He thanked me, and stammered back something that might have also been an apology.

Since we were now such good friends, I went on to explain that had I known he sported an Obama/Biden bumper sticker in his rear window I never would have gestured at him in that manner.

No doubt thinking he had found a kindred spirit, and perhaps feeling magnanimous since he had already received an unexpected apology, he assured me it was fine. After all, we all have to deal with obnoxious people on the roads, and he may have been riding a bit close so he could get back over in time for the exit.

"Oh no," I explained, determined to clear up his confusion as to why I had been apologizing to him. "My mother taught me it was rude to pick on the handicapped, and with your chosen team in Washington you already have plenty of problems."

Fortunately, his wife convinced him it wasn't worth it to come after me.