Monday, March 07, 2005

Advice to the Airlines - Worth Every Penny They Pay For It

United, this is directed at you specifically but the rest of you out there should take note as well.

Friday evening I was flying home from Norfolk, Virginia, to Dulles, Virginia. After deplaning the five stand-bys who had improperly been permitted to board and then seating the justifiably unhappy family of six, the flight attendant got on the PA system to begin her how to buckle your seat belt, press the call button, and save your own neck before worrying about whether the child next to you might also enjoy the flow of oxygen spiel.

As a matter of courtesy I usually pay at least partial attention and try to establish eye contact at least once, even though as a frequent flyer I can almost give the presentation myself at this point. Not paying full attention to either her or the book in my lap, my wandering thoughts were suddenly drawn in by the attendant's reference to our flight crew as being "Captain Don" and "First Officer Trevor". The sensation was so Romper Room-esque that I was almost surprised when she didn't identify herself as "Miss Sidney" or offer me milk and cookies before my nap.

The major airlines are in a world of hurt these days. None of them manage to clean the tray tables to a degree that would satisfy even the less than fastidious Oscar Madison, US Airways can't even manage to provide ticket jackets at a growing number of their check-in counters, and yet they all wish us to believe that they are competent to properly maintain and operate an aircraft. Talking to their passengers as though we are little better than a bunch of three-year-olds is not a great way to boosting confidence levels that for many are teetering on the knife edge towards doubting these guys really know - or care - about the business they are running.

SO: Act like adults. Treat your passengers like adults. Maintain the cosmetic appearance of your fleets in such a manner that my mind is not encouraged to wander into wondering if the mechanical aspects or your aircraft are equally ill cared for.

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